An open letter to wedding guests

What is the first thing you think of when I say Kanye and Kim? Slightly (read very) self-important? Overly concerned with themselves? Attention seekers? Well can I tell you this is how I am viewing late wedding guest these days. Yep I’ve called it the “West dashian syndrome” or aka the late wedding guest. Just letting you know I’ve got my eye on you and it scares me how your numbers seem to be growing!

But first of all, congratulations on being asked to be a part of your friend or family member’s very important marriage ceremony and wedding day. There will be few days in their life that will be as important as this day, their day to become husband and wife. I bet you are really excited to be going and feel honoured to be included on their guest list. No doubt you have picked out an outfit, maybe even booked a mini bus with some mates so that you can enjoy some bubbles or nice cold beers. Booked in your hair and makeup or arranged for your parents to babysit. You’re all set, super excited and ready for a great day. So here is my question, why oh why are you arriving during the vows? Why is the bride standing behind a bush because her brother is still trying to find a park or the grooms cousin thought he knew the Botanic Gardens well but is lost somewhere near the main gate.

So here is my question, why oh why are you arriving during the vows?

So I’m pretty new to being a celebrant, I’m in my 4th year at this amazing job and have met over 230 brides and grooms that I have married or am about to marry. When I first started as a celebrant I noticed sometimes that 1 or 2 guest were late and yep all part of life and sometimes it can’t be helped. But this last wedding season it seems like every marriage ceremony I have done there are streams of late comers walking in during the ceremony, and not quietly!!! My brides and grooms are all excited, nervous and thrilled to be getting married. They have put so much care, attention, love and money into this day, their day! So why if the invite said 3pm are you coming into the ceremony at 3.20? Why are you making so much noise when you do it? Why as a family member of the bride or groom are you making them hold their ceremony up because they can’t get married without you there?

Belinda Monck Photography

Belinda Monck Photography


So by now you’re thinking, wow this celebrant is hard core, back off lady! But I see the other side of what seems like most weeks now. Frustration, anger and disappointment from my brides and grooms.

Theirs and my only request is that you take into account that parking is going to be a pain so give yourself twice the time you think it might take. Sometimes you can’t park in front of their ceremony so plan for a long walk (in those massive heels that look cute but hurt like no other shoe has before!) Plan your route and know if there will be football traffic or maybe the winery is not the one you thought it was and is much further out of town. You’re not  Kim or Kayne and being fashionably late isn’t cool at all. It’s rude and very annoying.

You’re very important to this wonderful bride and groom and you wouldn’t be invited unless they really wanted you there. So please plan your day so that theirs isn’t impacted, it would mean so much to them both! Don’t be a Westdashian, your too good for that.